hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We have started to decorate penises.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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