last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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