I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
