Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
