@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
