I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
