honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
