I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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