Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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