im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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