no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
