Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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