I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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