sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
