just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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