i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
