If that was your dad, he is hot
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
