You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
