During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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