At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize