I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
