so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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