i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
