just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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