His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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