butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
high people should be assigned attendants
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
