I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
