If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
