also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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