I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
