I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dicks are not precious.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
