She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
