this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
