Moan for me like Helen Keller
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize