You're completely useless in the revolution.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i out mim tonsoeep
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