Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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