I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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