There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
