Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
