the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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