Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
