If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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