i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
