I must be too annoying 4 u.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
