I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
