K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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