She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
