lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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