I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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