Small penises have feelings too.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
