My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
my poor anus
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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