My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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