made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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