Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
