i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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