We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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